A Lesson in Authenticity from a Holiday Potluck

The holiday season often presents unexpected opportunities for personal growth—sometimes in surprisingly painful ways. This weekend, a simple holiday potluck gathering unfolded into an unexpected revelation about breaking ancestral patterns and embracing authenticity, thanks to a conversation with my six-year-old son, Kai.

As we entered the festive gathering at a friend's home, my anxiety was palpable. With our friend still recovering from an illness, I felt a strong responsibility to maintain a respectful atmosphere. To ensure this, I asked Kai to "play the role of a big, grown-up boy for a few hours." His response, however, stopped me in my tracks and tugged at my heartstrings.

"You’re asking me not to be myself," Kai said, his eyes filling with tears.

In that moment, I recognized the weight of the expectation I was placing on him—an expectation rooted in my own childhood experiences of being told to "be a good girl" to gain acceptance and love. These words, intended to guide, often led to suppressing my true self to fit into societal expectations.

Kai, with his innocent wisdom, challenged this inherited narrative. We renegotiated, allowing him to be his mindful self from school, which was more than appropriate for our gathering. This exchange not only helped Kai but also offered me a profound insight: It highlighted the possibility of shedding the burdensome pattern of molding ourselves to meet others' expectations.

As I watched Kai adapt and enjoy the party, I realized the depth of the lesson he had offered me. This experience became a stepping stone in healing ancestral wounds and moving towards genuine authenticity. The tears I shed were not just of realization but of liberation from the anxiety of people-pleasing.

This holiday season, I hope my story with Kai inspires you to reflect on the expectations you carry. May it encourage you to break free from the chains of outdated norms and allow your true self to shine brilliantly.

As we continue our journey towards authentic living, let us remember that the most significant gifts often come from unexpected sources—like a simple conversation with a child at a holiday potluck.