The Problem With Self-Love

This past weekend I had the honor to speak and participate in a seminar entitled Loving Yourself Enough in Baton Rouge, LA.

The heart of what I shared was centered on the transformative power of shifting our internal dialogue from criticism to kindness.
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While the idea of self-love has gained much attention in the last couple years, the missing link often lies in the practical application. Many express the desire to love themselves but grapple with the "how." The journey can be challenging as it involves unraveling years of internal programming and, at times, generational patterns.

Here's a gentle starting point: "self-politeness."

Think of it as the timeless wisdom many of us were taught growing up: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Apply this golden rule to your inner dialogue. Begin by being self-polite, as it is a pathway to self-like, and, eventually, self-love. 

Why are we so hard on ourselves in the first place? The inner critic often echoes voices from our childhood, be it parents, caregivers, or societal expectations. Surprisingly, the positive intention behind the inner critic is usually to motivate you to be "good" so that your basic human needs for love, safety, and belonging are met.

Take a moment to reflect: How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake or fall short of a goal? Do you berate yourself or acknowledge the effort you put in?

If you're uncertain about your inner dialogue, start paying attention. The beauty is that it's never too late to transform the most important relationship in your life—the one with yourself.

If you haven’t already, I invite you to take my Self-WELLth Assessment to determine how well you treat yourself mind, body, and spirit. This is not an opportunity for judgment, rather an opportunity for reflective curiosity.

As Carl Jung says, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”