As we move through December, it’s natural to reflect on all that this year has brought—both the joyful and the challenging. While there’s so much to be grateful for, this season often highlights the grief, loss, and struggles we carry.

Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even a dream that didn’t go as planned. Or perhaps the endless to-dos and family dynamics leave you feeling stretched too thin.

It’s easy to feel like you have to justify your emotions with silver linings:

• “At least I still have my health.”

• “At least I have a roof over my head.”

• “At least it wasn’t worse.”

But here’s the thing…

Silver Linings Don’t Help!!

When my mom died suddenly in 2008, I was the first to find 10 reasons why it was “okay.”

• “At least she was happy when she died.”

• “At least she didn’t suffer.”

• “At least she knew I loved her.”

These statements were intellectually true, but emotionally, they didn’t help at all. The truth is, my mom’s death was the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. By trying to justify it with “at least,” I was unintentionally diminishing my own feelings.

We do this to others too, often with the best intentions:

• “At least you weren’t married.”

• "It could be worse; at least you have a job."

• “At least you didn’t have kids together.”

• "At least you're young, you'll find someone better."

• “At least they’re in a better place.”

While we may be trying to offer comfort, these statements often miss the mark. They bypass the real emotions someone is experiencing.

So What Should We Do Instead?
The answer is simple but powerful:
Acknowledge, validate, and listen.

Instead of “at least,” try:

• “I can’t imagine what this has been like for you..." (and then hold space for them to share).

• “That makes so much sense.”

• "You're feelings are totally valid."

• “Thank you for sharing. I’m here to listen, if you want to tell me more.”

• "It sounds like it has been really rough."

• "Do you want me to hear you, help you, or hug you?"

Feelings—grief, sadness, frustration—are normal and natural. They don’t need to be fixed. In fact, when we allow ourselves and others to feel without judgment, those feelings often pass more easily.

If you’re finding this time of year challenging, you’re not alone. That’s why I’ve created resources to support you: 🎁 Emotional First Aid Kit: Holiday Edition
Navigate tough conversations, family dynamics, and self-care with expert tools, meditations, and resources designed to help you move through the season with more ease and compassion.

The holiday season can be so magical, AND it can also bring out the drama. With family gatherings, tight schedules, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in tense moments where blame, frustration, and hurt feelings take center stage.

But what if we could ditch the drama this season and step into a space of connection, accountability, and presence instead?

Let me share a simple yet powerful concept that I teach in The Compassion Code Academy: moving from Drama Consciousness (also known as the Drama Triangle) to Presence Consciousness.

Here’s an example of what this shift looks like!

Holiday Drama Consciousness (Drama Triangle)

Imagine this scenario:

Sam (Victim):
“I can’t believe I’m the only one cleaning up after the big family dinner. No one even offered to help—it’s not fair!”

Alexa (Villain):
“Well, Sam, maybe if you didn’t insist on hosting every year, you wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed. This is your own fault.”

Sam (Victim):
“Ugh, I’m just trying to make everyone happy. I guess I’ll always end up doing it all alone.”

Alexa (Hero):
“Fine. I’ll step in and finish cleaning up. But next year, we need a better plan because this is getting ridiculous.”

Holiday Presence Consciousness

Now, here’s how that same situation might unfold with Presence Consciousness:

Sam (Creator):
“I’m feeling overwhelmed after dinner. I realize I should’ve asked for help earlier. Would anyone be willing to pitch in now?”

Alexa (Challenger):
“I understand you’re feeling stressed, Sam. This seems to be a pattern. While I am open to helping, what do you think we could do differently next time to share the workload more evenly?”

Sam (Creator):
“I think my challenge has been thinking I can do it and realizing that it is too much for me to take on. Maybe next time we could divide up tasks ahead of time so it’s clear who’s responsible for what. ”

Alexa (Coach):
“That’s a great idea. I’m happy to help with the plan and make sure everyone is on board. How are you feeling about this solution?”

Sam (Creator):
“I feel relieved. I think this will make future dinners more enjoyable for all of us.”

What Changed?

    •    In the first example, each of them is stuck in Drama Consciousness. The Victim feels powerless, the Villain assigns blame, and the Hero tries to “fix” things without addressing the root issue.
    •    In the second example, each of them interacts from Presence Consciousness. Sam steps into the role of Creator, taking ownership and proposing solutions. Alexa acts as a Challenger and Coach, encouraging reflection and supporting growth without taking over.

When we approach tough moments with Presence Consciousness, we replace blame and resentment with understanding, accountability, and connection.

Want to learn how to apply this in your life?

My Emotional First Aid Kit: Holiday Edition is designed to help you navigate the holidays with grace and ease. It includes:

    •    A detailed video and workbook on the Drama Triangle and how to shift into Presence Consciousness.
    •    Practical tools for self-care and navigating tough conversations.
    •    Guided meditations to keep you grounded and compassionate.

It also includes access to our monthly Unconditional Love Line Collective group call where you can come, learn, and get support.

This holiday season, let’s ditch the drama and create more moments of connection, joy, and peace.

Do you ever feel guilty for not feeling chipper or cheerful this time of year? Maybe you think, "I have so much to be grateful for, so why do I feel _____ (fill in the blank with literally any other emotion)?"

I want you to know that no matter how much personal growth you’ve done or how great life is going, the holiday season can still feel tense, emotional, and even overwhelming.

Why?

The holidays often bring changes in routines, time spent with family (or without them), and heightened awareness of how life has changed—whether that’s for better, worse, or just different. These shifts can bring grief.

At the Grief Recovery Institute, grief is defined as "the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior." That definition speaks volumes during the holiday season, a time when we reflect on the past, the present, and the expectations we’ve carried into this year.

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering:

“Why am I not where I thought I’d be?”
“Why do I feel sad when I should feel happy?”
“If only I had ______.”

You’re not alone. These inner judgments are common, especially during this season of reflection.

So, what can we do?

To move through this time with more peace and ease, try shifting from self-judgment to self-compassion (relating kindly to yourself during challenging times). The key to this shift is curiosity.

Curiosity might sound like:

“Hmm, what is my body needing right now?”
“Hmm, what can I learn from this experience?”
“Hmm, would it be helpful if I had someone to vent to?”

Compassion also comes more easily when we give ourselves permission to feel all of our feelings—without labeling them as good or bad.

My Challenge for You:
This December, instead of judging yourself for what you have or haven’t done this year, ask yourself, “Who do I want to be moving forward?”

And remember, every moment is an opportunity to start fresh.

Visit my virtual home www.laurajack.com to learn more about all the ways I can support you and the people you serve. 

The holidays can be a season of joy, connection, and tradition — but they can also bring unique challenges, whether it’s grief, strained relationships, financial stress, or simply feeling overwhelmed.

If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or you just can’t make it home for the holidays, it’s completely normal to feel triggered this time of year.

Part of why we can feel triggered is because the holidays are steeped in tradition. There’s stimulus all around us — from festive lights and special meals to holiday music and gatherings — and we’re often pulled out of our typical routines. This season brings a mix of slow, reflective moments and chaotic activity, all while reminding us of times when things were different — for better or worse.

There’s also an unspoken expectation that the holidays should be fun, happy, and exciting. So when we don’t feel particularly cheerful or even downright terrible, we might fall into the trap of making ourselves wrong for having those feelings.

We’re often told from an early age to “be strong” — to pretend we’re fine. But what does it mean when we don’t feel “strong”? When we show our true emotions, like sadness, longing, or loneliness? It means we’re human. It means we’re feeling — and while that can be scary, it’s the only road to healing.

The longer we avoid our pain, the louder it gets. Avoidance is what makes us sick. We push it down again and again... but eventually, it has to come out.

So, what if this holiday season we gave ourselves permission to feel instead of trying to "be strong"? What if sharing our true emotions allowed others to share theirs, too? The holidays are a great time to practice because emotions naturally come up during this time of year.

Here are 5 tips to help you thrive during the holidays without diminishing your feelings:

1) Do something nice for yourself.

Have you considered getting yourself a present or doing something kind for you? Think about what would bring you joy. It could be going on a trip, getting a massage, or curling up with a good book or movie. Whatever it is, schedule it — because you deserve it.

2) Create a new ritual.

This is the first and only winter holiday season of this year. What new thing can you do to make it special? Play a game, see a movie with friends, bake something fun, or start a tradition that feels meaningful to you.

3) Honor a loved one’s memory.

If you’ve lost someone, find a way to include their presence during the holidays. Set a place for them at the dinner table, do something they loved, or share stories about them with others.

4) Clear your clutter.

Cleaning and decluttering can be incredibly helpful for creating space — physically and emotionally — as you prepare for the holidays. Plus, it can leave you feeling lighter and more at peace.

5) Do something nice for others.

One of the best ways to help yourself is by helping others. Volunteer at a local shelter, nursing home, or food bank, or donate gently used items you found while decluttering. Acts of kindness can bring joy to others and to yourself.

For more resources, visit www.laurajack.com.

In life, change—whether big or small—is often accompanied by a sense of grief. At the Grief Recovery Institute, we define grief as "the conflicting feelings that come at the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior." In other words, it’s natural to grieve when things don’t go as planned, or when the familiar parts of our lives shift.

Many of life’s celebrated milestones— big birthdays, marriage, babies, graduations, new jobs, new homes, promotions, and retirement—are exciting moments. Yet, they are also times of profound transition. “Milestone grief” can leave us feeling confused because we think we’re "supposed" to feel only joy, yet we’re filled with mixed emotions. This is normal, and it’s okay. Recognizing this truth can help us approach change with more kindness toward ourselves and others.

As we move through challenging times—especially in today’s divided world—I believe it’s more important than ever to support one another, even when our beliefs and opinions differ. In a world that encourages us to separate from those who see things differently, I want to remind you that kindness and compassion are our greatest tools for bridging the divide.

When we encounter someone with an opposing view, we can still find ways to stay connected. Simple phrases like “thank you for sharing” or “it’s okay to feel your feelings; that’s part of being human” can go a long way. Compassion and curiosity can create understanding, and understanding helps us find common ground.

Let’s walk through this together with open hearts.

If this message resonates, please share it with someone you know who might benefit from a little extra kindness and understanding right now.

For more support, visit www.laurajack.com and feel free to reach out.

Tomorrow is Election Day, and our country is feeling the weight of this moment. Both sides are worried, feeling that so much is at stake. For many, there’s an underlying fear that we’re on the brink of something we may not recover from.

But last night, I experienced something that reminded me of the true remedy for these times. I was at a dinner celebrating a dear friend’s incredible recovery after a double lung transplant—a celebration of love, resilience, and, most of all, a second chance at life. This gathering wasn’t just about survival; it was about thriving in the face of life’s hardest moments. It made me reflect on our country, especially now, and I realized I don’t want us to just “get through” this election. I want us to find a way to thrive together, beyond our fears and differences.

One dinner guest asked, “How do we get through this week?” My answer was simple, but deeply heartfelt--

"Kindness."

Kindness may not be seen as a survival skill, but I believe it’s our best path forward, not just to survive but to truly thrive together. That’s why, last month, I began a 21-Day Compassion Ninja Challenge. Each day, people across the country have been performing small, compassionate actions. And you know what? These acts of kindness have given me so much hope. They remind me that when we choose compassion and understanding—toward ourselves, our families, our communities—we create a ripple effect of peace and connection.

So here’s my invitation to you: let’s carry this mindset into the week ahead. Be kind, be curious, be compassionate. Smile at a stranger, wave to a neighbor, leave a heartfelt review for a local business, or offer a genuine compliment to someone in passing. These gestures may seem small, but they are transformative. They are how we open our hearts and start bridging divides.

In this crucial week, let’s remember that kindness is more than just “nice.” It’s how we survive, heal, and, ultimately, thrive as a community. Together, we can hold on to hope, and maybe even create a world that’s a little kinder for all of us.

A couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. Over dinner, we found ourselves reflecting on why we’ve been able to grow together over the 17 years since we started dating.

I shared that one thing I really appreciated about him is how open he’s always been to receiving feedback and making adjustments. Aaron said that one of the biggest reasons he thought we’ve grown together is because I’ve always been thoughtful when giving feedback—it feels loving and supportive, rather than critical—making it easier for him to want to make changes.

At that moment, we both simultaneously laughed and said, “The preframe!”

The preframe is a game-changing communication tool that I teach in both Compassion Code Academy and in all of my corporate trainings. If you’ve ever struggled with giving or receiving feedback, this tool will transform how you communicate and resolve conflicts with more ease and kindness.

If you want to know more, I’ve created a free PDF guide called:“Starting is the Hardest Part: Mastering Difficult Conversations for Lasting Connection.”

[Download the Free Guide Here!]

These are just a few of the tools we dive into in Compassion Code Academy.

If you’re ready to break free from burnout, regain your sense of purpose, and lead with compassion, I’d love to chat!

Click here to schedule a call with me next week to see if it’s a good fit. Let’s connect and explore how this program can support your growth, both professionally and personally!

Have you ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no"? Or gone out of your way to make sure everyone else was happy—even if it meant sacrificing your own needs?

You’re not alone. As Alan Gordon insightfully points out, “People-pleasers don’t people-please to please other people, but to avoid their own anxiety.” It’s not really about making others happy; it’s about avoiding the anxiety that comes with the fear of disappointing them. The anxiety that says, "What if I lose their love, their approval, or my sense of belonging?"

For many of us, it just feels easier to abandon ourselves in the moment—to avoid conflict, guilt, or discomfort. Sound familiar?

In our Unconditional Love Line Collective, we explored the powerful practice of releasing people-pleasing and approval addiction. We explored the importance of choosing yourself, even when it means disappointing others. It’s not easy, but as Glennon Doyle so wisely says, “Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

We reflected on how to shift the pattern of abandoning yourself to keep the peace and how to navigate the anxiety that comes with choosing your own well-being over others’ expectations. We also explored how to communicate these needs with others in a kind and respectful way, so you can stand firm in your truth without creating unnecessary conflict.

Here’s what we covered:

• Understanding why we people-please (and how it's really about avoiding our own discomfort)

• How to feel the fear of disappointing others but choose not to abandon yourself

• Practical strategies to start breaking free from approval addiction

• How to kindly and respectfully communicate your needs to others without fear

• Why disappointing others can actually lead to deeper self-trust and authenticity

When you join the Unconditional Love Line Collective you will have access to these previous explored teachings!

Have you ever struggled to give feedback because by the time you're giving it, you’re already frustrated and even resentful?

Well, guess what? There are three secrets to giving feedback that help build trust with your team that are better for all people involved.

1. Offer feedback 1-on-1.
Feedback is personal, and many people feel vulnerable when receiving it. By offering feedback in a private, one-on-one setting, you show respect and care for the other person's feelings. This approach reduces the potential for embarrassment and allows for a more open, honest conversation, fostering a deeper level of trust and understanding.

2. Consent.
Yes, asking permission to give feedback is crucial. It can be as simple as saying, “Are you open to receiving feedback right now?” By doing this, you ensure the person is in the right space to receive and process the feedback constructively.

3. Have courageous conversations early and often.
Don’t wait for resentment to build before speaking honestly. Instead, address challenges as they arise, kindly and transparently. This way, trust is built gradually, and you won’t find yourself dreading that ONE BIG HARD CONVERSATION.

Sound like something you could benefit from?

Introducing The CCA Professional Accelerator: Practical Tools for Burned-Out Professionals 

If you’re like many mission-driven professionals, you entered your field because you genuinely care about making a difference. But somewhere along the way, the weight of your work started to take a toll. You’re dedicated, compassionate, and care deeply—but the burnout is real.

I get it, and I’ve been there too. That’s why I’m thrilled to introduce the CCA Professional Accelerator, a brand-new version of the Compassion Code Academy tailored specifically for busy, service-oriented leaders and professionals who want to regain their sense of purpose and passion while avoiding burnout.

What is the CCA Professional Accelerator?


Here’s how it works:
* Practical tools you can use in the workplace immediately
* Scenario-based learning and real-world role plays, all designed to help you handle challenges, communicate with more ease, and lead with compassion—without sacrificing your well-being.
* A 50% reduction in time commitment and cost compared to the full CCA program!

Interested in joining?
I’m opening up limited spots for the CCA Professional Accelerator, and I’d love for you to be part of it. If you’re ready to finally break free from burnout, feel confident in your communication skills, and get back to the core of why you started, I’d love to connect.

Click here to schedule a call with me next week to see if it’s a good fit. Let’s chat about how this program can support you in your growth and help you find the balance you’ve been searching for. If you can't find a time on my calendar, just reply to this email, and we'll figure it out!

As summer winds down and we settle back into our routines, I wanted to share a bit about what this season has meant for me and my family. Every summer, we escape the Austin heat to spend time with my husband's family and our friends in the Pacific Northwest. This time away has become a cherished tradition, offering a break from the usual routine and a chance to play and connect.

While I did some work on the road—coaching, meeting with my team, and a quick trip to San Antonio to train NEISD’s Dept of Special Education on self-compassion and compassionate leadership—much of the summer was spent with our kids, parents, extended family, and friends. Aaron and I even had a week to ourselves while the kids were at grandparent camp, which was a wonderful opportunity to reconnect.

This time away gave me the space to reflect. One of the biggest lessons I took from this summer is the importance of presence. When I’m stuck in thoughts of the past or future anxieties, I miss out on the beauty of the moment.

I’m also proud of how I managed fear this summer. I’m leaning into trust as much as possible and asking for help when I need it—both of which are growth areas for me.

Feeling fear is a natural part of the human experience, but I’ve been working on not letting it drive my decisions. Elizabeth Gilbert beautifully puts it in Big Magic:

"There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way...You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote."

As we move into fall and leave summer in our rearview mirror, I invite you to reflect on a few questions:

• What is something you are proud of yourself for (big or small)?

• What are your growth edges? What are you focusing on improving that may have been challenging for you in the past?

• If your 80-year-old self could give you any advice right now, what do you think they would say?

• How can you implement that wisdom in your life today?

Wishing you all a smooth transition into fall and hoping you find moments of presence and joy in the days ahead.

Vulnerability is a beautiful way to open the door to connection. It allows us to deepen our relationships, foster trust, and create meaningful bonds with others. However, being vulnerable can also require quite a bit of energy, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to choose when, how, and with whom to share.

You don’t have to bare your soul to everyone to be vulnerable. In fact, vulnerability is as much about honoring your own boundaries and energy as it is about sharing with others. You can be open and authentic without feeling the need to divulge everything.

For example, you might say something like, "I just want to let you know that I have some family stuff going on—while it isn't my place to share details, I do want you to know that if I don't seem like myself, it's because I’m feeling distracted. No need to worry; I’m doing what I need to take care of myself and my family. I just didn't want you to take it personally."

This type of vulnerability helps create connection and understanding without requiring you to share details that you may not be ready or willing to discuss. It’s a way to be honest and open while still protecting your own energy.

Remember, being vulnerable is a choice, and you have the right to decide when and how you share. By being mindful of your own needs and boundaries, you can foster deeper connections without depleting yourself in the process.

Take care of yourself, and know that it’s okay to be selective with your vulnerability. After all, true connection is built not just on what we share, but on how and why we choose to share it.

Do you hesitate to share when things are going well, fearing you might jinx it, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or feeling guilty that others are suffering? If so, you're not alone. Joy, like suffering, can feel incredibly vulnerable.

It's a strange paradox. In a world where sharing struggles and suffering is often encouraged to foster connection and empathy, sharing our joys can feel risky. We worry that our happiness might be perceived as bragging, or that acknowledging our good fortune might make it disappear.

But here's the truth: joy and suffering are both vulnerable experiences. And just as sharing our hardships can bring comfort and solidarity, sharing our moments of joy can inspire and uplift others.

I was talking about this with friends the other day, reflecting on how it can seem easier to share our suffering rather than our celebration. Yet, in our current world it is vital to take moments to enjoy the small victories, the beauty amidst the chaos, and the gratitude for what is going well.

With so much fear, hatred, and disconnection around us, it’s crucial to focus our energy and attention on the beautiful. Take a moment to appreciate a flower, a blue sky, cleansing rain, fresh drinking water, a healthy meal, laughter with friends, or a smile from a stranger. This doesn’t mean denying the hardship; it just means taking breaks from that being our sole focus.

While the news bombards us with trials and tribulations, producing anxiety about an uncertain future, I invite you to look at the news of your life. Imagine headlines like:

"Grandfather Hugs Grandchild"
"Woman Stops to Smell the Flowers"
"Friends Meet for Dinner and Share Stories, Laughter, and Tears"

What are your happy headlines?

Embracing and sharing your moments of joy doesn’t diminish the reality of suffering; it acknowledges the full spectrum of human experience. By celebrating our joys, we can create a ripple effect, reminding others that amidst the challenges, there are always moments worth cherishing.

So, the next time something goes well, don’t hold back. Share your joy. Inspire others. And remember, in these small moments of happiness, we find the strength to navigate the tougher times.