Are you feeling rigid or stuck in your ways?
Do you ever find yourself saying, “I used to be more easygoing, fun, carefree?”
Do you ever feel like the person you are now doesn't feel like the real you?
Do you smile less or perhaps you’re less generous with your compliments?
If this sounds familiar, know that you aren’t alone.
On our recent Light After Loss coaching call, one of our clients shared a similar sentiment to the ones above.
They even went on to say, “It's the rigidity that I feel, and the fact that people in my life see me as difficult or demanding that makes me want to shift. This isn't who I think I am or who I want to be.”
If this is you, here is a bit of coaching to heal your perspective:
Ask yourself, "Where is the possible value in being demanding?
Perhaps it's that you are able to speak your needs and know what you want.
Next ask yourself, “Do you think that/ those qualities could have valuable?”
It's likely you would agree that there is some value.
You might even consider yourself an advocate, a truth-teller and someone who is clear on what you want and what you don't want. And with that, you are also brave enough to speak up for yourself and others.
With these questions, do you feel yourself shifting from judgment to curiosity and even gratitude for this part of yourself?
Do you know why our muscles get stiff when we are injured? To protect us from further injury. And how do we help our stiffness? By stretching.
If you aren't thrilled about the ways you're showing up in your life, here's what I want you to know:
Being rigid or stuck in your ways is not your natural state. It is what happens to protect you when you are hurting from unresolved grief.
So in order to “stretch” and heal your rigidity or the adaptations you created to protect your heart, you must first have compassion for the mechanism you used to protect yourself from further injury or heartache.
Once you have given yourself the gift of self-compassion, you can choose to heal your unresolved grief.
Just like the physical tools of heat, ice, stretching, movement, and physical therapy which help our bodies regain flexibility and freedom, so too exist the emotional tools to help regain flexibility and freedom in our emotional bodies.
If you are living with the emotional pain of loss, perhaps it is time for action. Time alone does not heal our wounds; it is action within time.
We all need tools to move beyond our pain, and this isn't something we are taught in school, but it is something we can learn with the right support.
So if you are interested in transforming the heartache of your loss into meaning, purpose, and growth, schedule a Light After Loss initial consultation today.
If you aren’t already, join us in Living The Compassion Code, our free Facebook community to build bridges rather than walls.
And download The Compassion Code Starter Guide to begin your journey of compassion, starting with yourself.
