Releasing People-Pleasing & Approval Addiction: A Path Back to Yourself

Have you ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no"? Or gone out of your way to make sure everyone else was happy—even if it meant sacrificing your own needs?

You’re not alone. As Alan Gordon insightfully points out, “People-pleasers don’t people-please to please other people, but to avoid their own anxiety.” It’s not really about making others happy; it’s about avoiding the anxiety that comes with the fear of disappointing them. The anxiety that says, "What if I lose their love, their approval, or my sense of belonging?"

For many of us, it just feels easier to abandon ourselves in the moment—to avoid conflict, guilt, or discomfort. Sound familiar?

In our Unconditional Love Line Collective, we explored the powerful practice of releasing people-pleasing and approval addiction. We explored the importance of choosing yourself, even when it means disappointing others. It’s not easy, but as Glennon Doyle so wisely says, “Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

We reflected on how to shift the pattern of abandoning yourself to keep the peace and how to navigate the anxiety that comes with choosing your own well-being over others’ expectations. We also explored how to communicate these needs with others in a kind and respectful way, so you can stand firm in your truth without creating unnecessary conflict.

Here’s what we covered:

  • Understanding why we people-please (and how it's really about avoiding our own discomfort)

  • How to feel the fear of disappointing others but choose not to abandon yourself

  • Practical strategies to start breaking free from approval addiction

  • How to kindly and respectfully communicate your needs to others without fear

  • Why disappointing others can actually lead to deeper self-trust and authenticity


When you join the Unconditional Love Line Collective you will have access to these previous explored teachings!

Laura Jack