Ditch The Drama This Holiday Season!
The holiday season can be so magical, AND it can also bring out the drama. With family gatherings, tight schedules, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in tense moments where blame, frustration, and hurt feelings take center stage.
But what if we could ditch the drama this season and step into a space of connection, accountability, and presence instead?
Let me share a simple yet powerful concept that I teach in The Compassion Code Academy: moving from Drama Consciousness (also known as the Drama Triangle) to Presence Consciousness.
Here’s an example of what this shift looks like!
Holiday Drama Consciousness (Drama Triangle)
Imagine this scenario:
Sam (Victim):
“I can’t believe I’m the only one cleaning up after the big family dinner. No one even offered to help—it’s not fair!”
Alexa (Villain):
“Well, Sam, maybe if you didn’t insist on hosting every year, you wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed. This is your own fault.”
Sam (Victim):
“Ugh, I’m just trying to make everyone happy. I guess I’ll always end up doing it all alone.”
Alexa (Hero):
“Fine. I’ll step in and finish cleaning up. But next year, we need a better plan because this is getting ridiculous.”
Holiday Presence Consciousness
Now, here’s how that same situation might unfold with Presence Consciousness:
Sam (Creator):
“I’m feeling overwhelmed after dinner. I realize I should’ve asked for help earlier. Would anyone be willing to pitch in now?”
Alexa (Challenger):
“I understand you’re feeling stressed, Sam. This seems to be a pattern. While I am open to helping, what do you think we could do differently next time to share the workload more evenly?”
Sam (Creator):
“I think my challenge has been thinking I can do it and realizing that it is too much for me to take on. Maybe next time we could divide up tasks ahead of time so it’s clear who’s responsible for what. ”
Alexa (Coach):
“That’s a great idea. I’m happy to help with the plan and make sure everyone is on board. How are you feeling about this solution?”
Sam (Creator):
“I feel relieved. I think this will make future dinners more enjoyable for all of us.”
What Changed?
• In the first example, each of them is stuck in Drama Consciousness. The Victim feels powerless, the Villain assigns blame, and the Hero tries to “fix” things without addressing the root issue.
• In the second example, each of them interacts from Presence Consciousness. Sam steps into the role of Creator, taking ownership and proposing solutions. Alexa acts as a Challenger and Coach, encouraging reflection and supporting growth without taking over.
When we approach tough moments with Presence Consciousness, we replace blame and resentment with understanding, accountability, and connection.
Want to learn how to apply this in your life?
My Emotional First Aid Kit: Holiday Edition is designed to help you navigate the holidays with grace and ease. It includes:
• A detailed video and workbook on the Drama Triangle and how to shift into Presence Consciousness.
• Practical tools for self-care and navigating tough conversations.
• Guided meditations to keep you grounded and compassionate.
It also includes access to our monthly Unconditional Love Line Collective group call where you can come, learn, and get support.
This holiday season, let’s ditch the drama and create more moments of connection, joy, and peace.