How to Survive the Election... with Compassion!
Last year I had this momentary thought, “What would it take for all of humanity to come together?”
The immediate response I had was, “An alien invasion.”
Ironically enough, fast forward only 5 months later and the Coronavirus, though small and invisible, appeared as the alien and the potential thing that would bring us together.
With the idea of all of us doing our parts to flatten the curve, I felt hopeful.
What I didn’t take into account was how challenging this would be on all of us and how the unfolding events of this year would become the culmination of so much grief and discomfort previously ignored, avoided, or pushed down (both personally and collectively). After all, as you may have learned by now, “grief is the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior,” according to the Grief Recovery Institute.
So why wasn’t our collective response to the Coronavirus bringing us all together in the way I had imagined the alien invasion would? In part because we are all unique, our experiences are unique, and our perceptions are unique. I also believe it is because we still have work to do... to acknowledge our own feelings and experiences and how painful they are and have been.
Before we can have compassion for others, we must begin with compassion for ourselves.
So while each of us is unique and our experiences are unique ... our feelings are universal.
Even though we arrive at these feelings differently, the one truth we have in common is that we have all experienced some level of love, hate, anger, fear, disappointment, excitement, relief, devastation, heartache, overwhelm, embarrassment, shame, gratitude, and the list goes on.
After all, we are human, and THAT is what brings us together. Our common humanity is in our shared emotions.
So while we are so divided right now, we are all having the Universal experience of having feelings.
And when it comes to feelings, the best thing we can do is acknowledge them. After all, you have to feel in order to heal.
When I was a little girl, my mom used to say, “no one can take away your feelings.”
I share that sentiment with you today by reminding you that no matter your age or experience, YOU are allowed to have your feelings; AND yet, what you do with those feelings does matter and does impact the collective experience.
While you may not think of yourself as a leader, how you lead and model, whether that is for your children, your friends, your family, your neighborhood, your team or organization, or just how you think inside your own mind, does matter.
So as we continue navigating this turbulent time, decide how we are each going to feel, and then choose to behave... I hope you will consider this:
Choose to lead and behave with love and kindness rather than fear.
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness (love) never decreases by being shared.” -Buddha
Remember that fear is limited and limiting while love is abundant. There is enough for everyone. Enough love. Enough connection. Enough.
You are enough. And when you KNOW this fully… when you FEEL it at the core of your being, you can then be the light that shines on others and empowers others to be their best… not with attachment, but rather with the intention of elevating the whole.
When we live with compassion, starting with self-compassion, we can shine brightly and warm those around us.
So when the world feels out of your control, remember the only part you can truly control:
Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your actions.
If you want to be a light of love when the world feels dark:
You can choose to move away from fearful thoughts and questions that may sound like:
“Everyone else is doing it wrong. What is wrong with them?”
“Why are other people so … (negative judgement)?”
“Why don’t people see it my way?”
“Why don’t other people respect me?”
“Why do they think I am … (negative judgement)?”
"It is all their fault that things are the way they are."
"If only others were more... "
The challenge with all of these thoughts is they come from a fear mindset, which means that ultimately there is a threat to love, safety or belonging. Fear and blame does not allow us to live with peace, connection, or love; it only creates more fear.
However, when we practice self-compassion and self-love, our thoughts shift and then our interactions with others also begin to shift to be more compassionate. When we choose love, curiosity, and compassion rather than fear, it can sound like:
“I am curious about other people’s beliefs.”
“I wonder how I can grow and learn from others?”
“I appreciate and respect myself, AND I also respect and appreciate others.”
“It is okay to have differing opinions from others and still love them.”
“I hope that with our powers combined we can find solutions that works for the whole.”
“I trust that I will continue to learn, grow and evolve”
“Even though I don’t know what the future holds, I am willing to be kind, curious, and compassionate with myself and others.”
Compassion and curiosity allow us to connect, to appreciate life, to experience peace, joy, and love.
So whatever today and the next few months bring, I strongly encourage you to remember:
Our common humanity is in our shared emotions. We are all human.
So if that alien invasion ever comes, we will stand together as humans with LOVE & COMPASSION.
And...maybe the aliens will have something to teach us too. :)
If you aren't in there already, join our free FB group, Living The Compassion Code!