What My Mom Taught Me Through Her Death...
As I reflect on the 13 years since my mom died, I realize that as I connect more and more deeply to who I am at a soul-level, the more I realize that my mom is with me.
Yesterday was the anniversary of her death; a day of honor and remembrance, a day where I take time to have gratitude for all she taught me in life… and the many more lessons she continues teaching me in death.
As I reflected about what I would say to her… I realized that her response would be but an echo of my own thoughts and feelings.
Thank you... and she would say, "thank you."
I love you... and she would say, "I love you."
I miss you... and she would say, "I miss you."
Some of the greatest gifts and lessons I have received these 13 years are:
The gift of listening inward and trusting my intuition, as I can no longer rely on my mom as my sounding board... so I became my own high council.
The willingness and ability to let my emotions pass through me rather than suppressing them or pretending I am fine. Then recognizing how much more free I am without those stuck emotions.
The best job for my mind when it comes to my grief is to be but a witnesses. It acknowledges and validates my experience and my humanity with compassion but without making me bad or wrong.
The pride I had in my mom comes from many of the values we share. We value family, service, justice, education, kindness, humor, generosity, and love. I know like an echo that she would say, "I am proud of you" just as I am so proud of her and the legacy she has left.
The mixture of feelings I have is inevitable and can be especially grand during birthdays, anniversaries and other momentous times. And while it can feel scary when I feel them coming -- when I allow them, invite them, and let them wash over me, it can be cleansing and freeing rather than murky and stifling.
Yesterday, as I honored the death of my mother, I found myself grateful for her and for my response to her death.
Grief is what makes us human, and how we respond is what determines the quality of our lives.
I am grateful for the courage I have had:
To face the feelings, all of them, even the hard ones.
To sit in the shadows of my mind, heart and soul.
To rebuild myself from the ashes that I crumbled into after her death.
I wish I could help every broken heart heal, and I wish I could walk beside every grieving daughter, mother, sister, husband, friend... so they too would know that they are not alone.
Grief is one of the most painful and yet potentially transformational experiences in life. One that most of us would never wish for, but when forced upon us, we have the opportunity to choose growth through suffering as I have.
Thank you for honoring my truth, my journey, my love for my mother ...
And may you be inspired to embark on your own journey from surviving to thriving... feeling hopeful that it is possible.
If you or someone you love is hurting from a broken heart, and you want to choose GROWTH but don't know how, please watch and share my most recent training: 4 Shifts to Move Beyond the Pain of Loss and Rediscover Meaning, Purpose, and Growth in Your Life.
It is an accumulation of all I have learned and experienced over the last 13 years, boiled down into 40 minutes of education, inspiration, and practical application.
If you aren't already, join us in Living The Compassion Code, our free Facebook community to build connections during an isolated time.
To the opportunity for choice and the inevitability of transformation.