Death Reminds Us TO LIVE

My uncle, the oldest of five children and still only 67 years old, recently died while tending to his garden up in Washington state.  These sudden, unexpected deaths of people we love really remind us how precious life really is.  It is in these moments, we are forced to face our own mortality.

Sometimes we forget that we don't live forever.  We let ourselves be overwhelmed by the minutia of everyday life. And then, out of no where, someone we care about dies.  

It sucks, and we are left wondering so many things about the relationship, about life, and about ourselves. We begin reflecting on our lives.  

If tomorrow were my last day, am I doing what I want with my life? Am I spending time with the people I love? Do people know how I feel about them?

While the death of people we love can be painful for those of us left behind, one of the beautiful things about death is that it allows us to take a pause in our lives.  It initiates a reflection period that we rarely take otherwise.  It causes the social "shoulds" to loosen up for a time and allows us to really look at what we want moving forward.

One of the biggest challenges of sudden loss is the feeling of incompleteness. Did I communicate all that I wanted to say to that person? Was I good niece, brother, wife, friend?  Did they know how I felt about them? Should I have called more?

These questions are usually a sign that something was left  incomplete in the relationship. As we say at the Grief Recovery Institute®, "Incompleteness is an accumulation of undelivered communications, large and small, that have emotional value to you.  Sometimes incompleteness is caused by our actions or non-actions.  Other times it is caused by circumstances out of our control."

While the Grief Recovery Method allows us to find completion with people who are no longer in our lives, dead or alive, it is also a good reminder to be complete in our existing relationships. Different people have different ways of being complete in their relationships.  Some people never get off the phone with their spouse, parent, sibling, friend, without saying I love you.  Some people don't go to bed angry.  

I personally try to live my life and communicate with the people I care about in a way that I feels authentic. While losing my mom was incredibly challenging for me, one thing I always felt grateful for was that she knew how much I loved her.

Consider this, if today were your last day, are there any communications you would like to make?  Is there any thing that you would like to do? Because we are mortal, don't let time pass before you tell people you love them.  Don't wait. Live now, for today is the only certainty we have.

For more about how I can support you and the people you serve, visit www.laurajack.com.