As a child, I vividly remember my father saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Over time, I've come to realize that both elements hold immense significance. Yes, the tone and delivery of our words are crucial, but the content of what we say is equally important. It's a dynamic interplay between what and how.

Consider the words you choose, the cadence of your voice, the nuances of your body language, and the intentions that shape your words. This intricate symphony of communication has the power to either strengthen or weaken connections. Before engaging in a challenging conversation, I make it a point to set the intention for a healthy exchange. I've learned that being mindful of my tone, ensuring it carries genuine curiosity rather than judgment, makes a remarkable difference.

One valuable lesson from my coach training has remained with me: humans are naturally drawn to "like kind." In the context of connections, this implies that individuals who harbor compassion for themselves and their struggles can more easily establish rapport with others. While we yearn to know we're not alone, we also seek acknowledgment that our experiences are uniquely ours. This profound commonality of emotions, the shared human experience, makes us inherently "like-kind" on a fundamental level. As a result, forming connections becomes not just possible, but often effortless.

The significance of nonverbal communication in rapport-building cannot be overstated. Here are some simple yet powerful tools:

1. Sincere Eye Contact: While avoiding a stare, maintaining natural and gentle eye contact signals that you care, are attentive, and willing to be present.

2. Align Words and Body Language: Ensure your body language aligns with your spoken sentiments. Facing the person with genuine eye contact reinforces your sincerity.

3. Open Posture: Whether sitting or standing, keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Crossed limbs or turning away may inadvertently convey closure and disinterest.

4. Stay Present: Engage fully with what the other person is saying. Even momentary distractions can make them feel unimportant.

5. Address Distractions: Should you become distracted, honesty is the best policy. Admit your lapse and ask them to repeat their last statement. This genuine approach helps rebuild rapport quickly.

6. Mirroring for Connection: At times, mirroring the other person's body language can foster rapport. This isn't about imitation but creating a sense of similarity. Subtle gestures of mirroring can establish a subconscious connection, enhancing the interaction.

Effective communication goes beyond words; it embodies empathy, respect, and understanding. By combining these nonverbal tools with the intention to communicate compassionately, we elevate the quality of our interactions. These practices not only build rapport but also nurture an environment where connection thrives.

In my journey with The Compassion Code Academy, I've uncovered a profound truth: compassion, a force transcending mere words, serves as the bridge that unites us, forging an unbreakable bond of shared understanding.

For a deeper dive into compassionate communication, join me by downloading The Compassion Code Starter Guide or join us in The Compassion Collective: Expert Coaching to Navigate Life’s Challenges With Compassion. Let's journey together in cultivating empathy and understanding through our words and presence.

I'm sorry.

I'm usually a woman of my word, and I was not.  

Just a few weeks ago, I said that next week we were launching The Compassion Collective, a place where you can feel supported while you support others, and I meant it.

And then life happened.

Not sure if you know this, but my family and I are moving across country.

That's right, we are saying goodbye and see you later to our beautiful community and life in Hood River, Oregon to return to the place where Ayla was born, Austin,Texas. You may have thoughts, feelings, questions, and maybe even judgments, and that is okay. 

The truth is CHANGE can be HARD and CONFUSING, even when we choose it. This is a perfect example of the definition of grief we use at The Grief Recovery Institute, "the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior." As Ayla, my 5.5 year old daughter so eloquently put it, "moving comes with a mixture of emotions. I feel sad, and I feel excited. I even feel scared."

She couldn't have described my feelings more accurately. Now, moving with all the grief it includes does not take into account officiating my sister-in-law's (and now brother-in-law’s) Covid compliant wedding, saying goodbye to our nanny, oh and don't forget a global pandemic and the social change afoot... no wonder I have been all over the emotional map. 

Taking one baby step each day and being present to ALL of my feelings is literally the best I can do at this point.

Did I mention we have a 2 and 5 year old?!

As I write this I almost feel a sense of pride for how well we are doing and feeling it all.  

So coming back to my integrity and feeling the need to apologize. I had every intention to begin The Compassion Collective at the end of July (3 days before our lease ended) and then I realized just because I CAN, does not mean I SHOULD. 

What I wanted -- to launch, to grow the world's compassionate communication and connection, to give you support in your tough conversation, and the list goes on.

What I needed – to slow down, take a breath, focus on my family, moving, my officiating duties, and ultimately postpone the open door date to The Collective community by a few weeks (I will be announcing the new start date soon!)

Since another thing I stand for is self-compassion, and taking care of myself so I can more effectively care for others... this did feel aligned.

So there you have it.

I apologize for saying one thing and doing another. AND I appreciate your compassion for me and my experience.

What I hope you gain from this email is PERMISSION to take care of yourself, as well as permission to apologize. It is never too late to say sorry, and it does require some humility:).

If you have no idea what I am talking about with The Compassion Collective, check it out here.

Here's my intention once we get settled in a couple weeks: we do what we said, and we launch The Compassion Collective Community Membership, a place where we will make my tools and guidance easy and accessible for more people... people who genuinely care about others and who just don’t feel 100% confident navigating those big emotional or confrontational situations with ease.

Because let's face it, every day we are faced with uncomfortable conversations that would benefit from a little extra compassion. This includes topics like social distancing, boundaries, school leadership, virtual connection, navigating family relationships, and communicating feelings of vulnerability, insecurity, grief, and anxiety in times of uncertainty. 

Walking my talk means having this tough conversation and others, loving myself even when I unintentionally disappoint others, apologizing for my part, and then working to continue evolving and improving along the way.

Thanks for your support, love, and understanding through this transition.

Join the waitlist at www.laurajack.com/waitlist if you haven't already, and we will begin our journey together soon.

Below is the couple I had the privilege to officiate for this past weekend. They are as beautiful inside as they are outside. 

Hi there!

In this video blog, I speak about the importance of redefining 'selfish' and taking care of yourself so you can give more to others. If we don't fill ourselves up first, we don't nourish ourselves or take proper care of ourselves, we become depleted, exhausted, and we have nothing left to give others, including our friends and family.

Instead of thinking of it as being selfish to put yourself first, instead, consider it as nourishing yourself so you have more to give. If we don't take care of ourselves we can't be any good to anyone else!

We need a strong foundation for our partnership, colleagues, family, children or whoever else it is that you support or serve in your life.

Please let me know what you think in the comments!

For more support, check out our Masterclass: Compassionate Communication 101: 5 Shifts to Confidently Navigate Change and Challenge with Ease. Register here!

What if every terrible thing that ever happened in your life was a chance for you to learn and grow? What if feeling like learning and growing was a worthwhile endeavor?

Do you know that grief, according to the Grief Recovery Institute, is the “conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior?”

So, every time you have gone through a loss or a life transition, the death of someone you love, the end of a romantic relationship, the death of a dream, the loss of your identity, the loss of trust or innocence... instead of seeing it as something that happened TO you, you decided to see it as something that happened FOR you?

Ugh... what a painful way to learn and grow. I can’t say that it is fun or enjoyable, and yet what a worthy cause. So rather than going through the experience in vain, what if we could find meaning in it? What if we used it as an opportunity to be awakened to our lives, to what really matters to us, to prioritizing love and connection, to choosing creativity and connection?

Life is full of heart-ache, challenges, uncertainty, and confusion. And... as you have probably heard a time or two, change is the only certainty in life. So, what can we do with that?

Can we decide that we are going to embrace change and choose to get curious? Can we choose love and growth rather than letting fear win?

The only way to really move through pain is to acknowledge its existence... to feel the fear and do it anyway.

The only way to acknowledge its existence is to give it a voice. When we share our pain and ask for support, we share our humanity with others and the pain that was once buried deep within us has a chance to come to the surface and be cleared away.

When we share ourselves vulnerably with others, and we are received with love and curiosity rather than fear and judgment, we create a ripple effect of brave conversations that lead to more connection.

So, if you have been through deep heart-ache and you want to help build an army of compassion, schedule a call to talk to me about The Compassion Code Academy: a transformational experience for heart-centered, conscious leaders, coaches, mentors who want practical tools to communicate effectively and lead confidently so they can have brave conversations, create greater impact and own their value both personally and professionally.

Interested in learning more? Watch my webinar, Compassionate Communication 101, here.