Hi there!

Today I would like to talk about how and why self-care is a major part of your health-care.

This is an important message because, during these crazy times of COVID-19, it is all too easy to let our self-care get away from us.

Whether you are an essential worker, part of the front lines, at home taking care of family members, children, other friends, or anyone else, this message is particularly important for you.  

Self-care is inclusive of anything that helps your mental, emotional and physical well-being.  The idea is that you take care of yourself so you can have more to give others. 

Here are three self-care techniques that can be utilized during current times and beyond:

Journaling

Journaling is a great way for you to let it all out. The point is to be able to get your feelings and thoughts out on paper and then let them go.    

It is a healthy place to vent what you need to vent and also bring awareness to gratitude as well. I encourage you to keep it in a safe place or throw it away if it won’t serve you moving forward.

Time is not an excuse! If you think you don’t have time, take your journal and something to write with to the restroom and find a few short minutes for yourself.  

The “Brain Dump”

Another great exercise, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed, is to do what we call a ‘brain dump.’ 

What this means is to literally write down on paper all the things you have to do.  Sometimes overwhelm happens because it is too hard to keep all our ideas in our heads.

Write down all the things you are trying to remember.  Make a personal category and a professional category and write everything down you have to do, is pending, or are trying to remember.  If you’d like, you can then categorize them into today, this week, and the future.    

As you complete your tasks, check them off and it will give you a sense of accomplishment.  

Remember to try to be realistic with yourself.  If you can't get to everything today, that's ok.  It is important to be compassionate with yourself and your goals. And relate kindly to yourself even when it feels like you fell short.

The “Vent/Gratitude”

The “Vent/Gratitude” is the idea of finding a safe person (somebody who's not judgmental, who will hold what you say to be confidential, and somebody who is willing to follow instructions).

Here is how you do it: 

• Put two minutes on a timer. 

• Vent out everything negative you need to say about what is going on in your life.

• Your partner will not talk while you are talking!

• When you are done, your partner will then ONLY say to you, “Thank you for sharing.” They will not try to fix anything, give advice to you, etc.  Only say, “Thank you.”

Next:

• Reset the timer and spend two minutes focusing only on your gratitudes.  

• Your partner will then say, “Thank you for sharing.”

• Ask if a hug would be ok, and if so, give each other a virtual or in-person hug. 

Finally, feel free to switch roles.  Your partner can tell you their vents and then gratitudes if they wish to.

Remember, self-care is for your health-care!  It is my pleasure to offer these tips and tricks during these unprecedented times of COVID-19.

Sending you a big virtual hug.  Please stay healthy and safe, be kind to yourself and others whenever possible, and I will see you online soon.

For more information, check out my Masterclass, Compassionate Communication 101: 5 Shifts to Confidently Navigate Change and Challenge with Ease.

Hi there!

In today’s video, I will share why this international pandemic could potentially be the doorway for growth. We will also revisit the idea of how COVID-19 is a grieving experience, and how grief is an opportunity for reflection, rediscovery, and reprioritization in our lives. 

Post-traumatic growth is an age-old philosophy that talks about how we experience growth through suffering. Therefore, post-traumatic growth is about how we experience a challenge or a change in life and how it creates an opportunity for growth.

This reprioritization allows us to grow through our suffering if we allow ourselves to be in a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.

Post-traumatic growth is an opportunity to transform through a grieving experience. Evidence to look for in your life to see if you're experiencing post-traumatic growth is: 

1. A new appreciation for life

2. A changed sense of priorities 

3. A warmer more intimate relationship. 

4. A greater sense of personal strength. 

5. Recognition of new possibilities. 

It doesn't diminish any of the grief that you're having, as grief is the conflicting feelings that come when things change. It is saying that this experience that we're all going through right now, while challenging, devastating, hard, and even heartbreaking, is also an opportunity for us to grow, transform, and create a new beginning that we maybe never thought was possible.

“Just as the ground after the fire is the most fertile place for growth, your life after loss has the potential for a new beginning that you never even knew was possible.”

Remember to give yourself kindness and love. Encourage yourself to find ways to look at your life with an open mind about new opportunities and possibilities. Find ways to appreciate your relationships and have deeper connections. Find ways to have a greater sense of personal strength, and give yourself a pat on the back for all the ways in which you are tackling some of the hardships that are coming your way. Also, be compassionate with yourself when you don't do it the way that you wish you would have.

Wishing you the best in these trying times and sending you lots of love.

For more information, check out my Masterclass, Compassionate Communication 101: 5 Shifts to Confidently Navigate Change and Challenge with Ease.

Hey guys!

In this video, I get into how grief exists in all the changes we experience in life and that what you are feeling when things change is normal.

According to the Grief Recovery Institute, grief is the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Therefore grief is in all changes that we experience as humans.

With the Coronavirus, the stay at home orders, and all the big changes that come with work, socializing, and life in general not to mention all of the grieving experiences that are related to traditional grieving experiences, just know that it's okay to grieve.

A few of the most important things that we have to remember in order to have compassion for ourselves during this challenging time is that:

1. It is ok to grieve (all losses not just death.)

2. Your feelings are legitimate, yours and yours alone. They are normal and they are natural.

3. Remember to acknowledge and validate yourself and others.

4. Whatever you're experiencing is ok!

5. You don't have to compare yourself to others. Comparing leads to isolation.

6. Try not to diminish other's feelings or experiences as well.

7. Relate kindly to yourself.

8. Know your audience and know who can support you!

To learn more, watch our brand new Masterclass: Compassionate Communication 101: 5 Shifts to Confidently Navigate Change and Challenge with Ease.

Hello everyone!

Today I’ll speak about our current lives during COVID-19 and our reaction as a society as it pertains to grief and what to do about it.

According to The Grief Recovery Institute, the definition for grief is, “the conflicting feelings that come at the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” It is the conflicting feelings that come when things change.

Therefore, the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations when life is put on pause during COVID-19 is a form of grief as things in our lives change (as well as all of the traditional experiences that we already consider grief.)

So what are we going to do about it?

Having compassion for ourselves and others means relating kindly to ourselves and others during times of suffering and challenge.

Whether the changes in your life are big or small, there's no need to compare yourself to anyone else. Know you're not alone in this. Relate kindly to yourself. Feel your feelings. Practice safe listening.

A way to practice safe listening is by using a method we use in The Compassion Code Academy called, "Vent/Gratitude."

Check out my video for the full breakdown :)

To learn more, register for our just released Masterclass: Compassionate Communication 101: 5 Shifts to Confidently Navigate Change and Challenge with Ease.

Good morning!

I recently had the privilege to guest blog for Understanding Compassion explaining the four most common responses to grief and how to respond instead.

Here's a sneak preview:

Everyone experiences grief or loss at some point during life, and it’s helpful to know what to say and what not to say to a grieving loved one in order to be as supportive and compassionate as possible.

Opening up about our deepest and most vulnerable feelings can be very challenging, and that’s why it’s so important to use language which truly nurtures and cares for the feelings of another. Those experiencing grief often say, “No one feels like I feel,” or “If I tell people how I feel, they may think I’m crazy or may not want to be around me.” Even though we have all been through something; a crumbled relationship, losing someone dear, a move, a rejection, etc…. we often feel alone in our painful experiences.

Many of us haven’t been taught how to compassionately relate to the painful feelings of others, or even how to relate to our own. We aren’t given tools as a society to deal with the sad stuff. We are expected to feel good most or all of the time. 

To read more, click here:

https://understandingcompassion.com/articles/the-four-most-common-responses-to-grief-and-how-to-respond-with-compassion-instead/